Ain't Nobody Got Time For That (Okay, maybe some people, just not me.)

Okay, so I’m stealing the idea for this blog from Jenna Marbles who does relatively funny video blogs about how to put on makeup when you’re drunk and what a woman’s nails say about her. This is a short list of things I do not have time for. Now, these are things that some people have time for, but I am not one of them.

1.   Putting on makeup every day. So I work with basically one person who sees me every day and he is a middle aged man that I don’t much care about impressing. This is why when I recently ran out of good foundation, I started using old shitty foundation instead of buying more and because it isn’t exactly the right color for my face, I just sort of stopped wearing makeup to work. Plus, I really prefer to sleep those extra five minutes
2.  Car Maintenance.  My car is like a giant purse on wheels except with more empty McDonald’s bags.  There are no fewer than four different outfits and three pairs of shoes in there at all times. I inexplicably have a box of books in the trunk that have been there for months and I don’t know who put them there or where they should go. I have a reusable shopping bag that theoretically serves as a trash bag, but so does the rest of the car.
3.   Consistently dealing with hair removal. Used to be, I shaved my legs once a week, on Friday morning. This was because I didn’t usually see my boyfriend during the week, so I’d do it Friday morning, and as far as he knew, I was smooth and hairless all week long. We just moved in together and I am suddenly facing a lot more hair removal than ever before. If I wasn’t so poor, I would consider just lasering it all off. I also used to get Brazilians on a semi-regular basis but a. that shit hurts and b. it went largely unappreciated, so I stopped. And let’s not even talk about my neck hairs. 
4.  Returning the grocery cart to it’s original home. So most of the time, I do this because I don’t want to seem like a total asshole, but every time I go grocery shopping, I am tempted to just shove it up onto the nearest center divider and calling it a day. 
5.   The top sheet. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he used a full set of sheets. But since then, I’ve proved to him the futility of that exercise  when you’re sharing a bed with someone who flails around as much as I do. Now  it just gets skipped  all together. 
6. Telemarketers. You know, I get it, it’s their job. Their terrible, awful job. I know, because I’ve done that job. People hate you and that can really weigh on a person. But that doesn’t mean I want to talk to you. So if I by chance accidentally pick up the phone, thinking that perhaps that you’re one of my many bill collectors (most of whom I avoid as well) then realize you’re trying to sell me something, I’m probably just going to hang up.

I feel like I should add something poignant or at least something like “flaky people” because most of us shouldn’t have time for flaky people but the truth is, most of the things I don’t have time for involve grooming and cleaning. So basically the point of this pointless post is that I am a lazy person. I couldn’t even come up with an even 10 things. I mean, I could have, but I'm not going to.